Verses By Beordoon

Musings of a Maskuraid…

MY ‘DISGUSTING’ PLEASURES

DISGUSTING PLEASURES

There is something about enjoying life’s simple pleasures and experiencing the little things that add bright spots to what would otherwise be a dreary existence. A lot of people are so caught up in the chase for the ‘big dreams’ that they forget how to appreciate and enjoy those smaller everyday joys.

This is just to share some of those things that bring me pleasure in the course of my daily life. They may sound gross or downright icky to you but hey, we can’t all be reasonable and correct people can we?

  1. Cleaning my ear: – My newly discovered tushness now has a pack of cotton buds available for this special job but there was a time I carried feathers around just to achieve that orgasmic feeling. I was that addicted.

  2. Taking a dump: – Note that this is not your everyday run of the mill dump o, no. I let that belly rumble as the storm brews, a couple of hours after a particularly heavy meal of beans or something equally disruptive. Waiting till the pressing reaches almost crisis level, just before the critical point i run into the toilet and let it go. You need to see man relax while breeze blows away the sweat (and stink) after ‘delivery’. WARNING – Don’t try this when you’re not in your house or if you live in a yard where there’s usually a queue to use the powerhouse.

  3. Scratching my butt: – Some demonic invisible ant crawls in between your butt cheeks and your first instinct is to go for it. Then you remember your manners and the fact that you’re in public, bummer. What to do, quickly slink into any enclosure you can find and gleefully dig in. Thank me later.

  4. Burping: – Picture a very hot day. Then I get a bottle of cool water and down it all in one gulp. The long and loud rip that erupts afterwards is both a sound victory and gratitude to the gods.

  5. Uninhibited farting: – Society and its rules dictate that we hold it in or only do the silent bombs when we’re with other people. Mind you, everybody farts irrespective of how fine or well put together they look. They just master the art of doing it codedly without any trace (the smell is another matter) which takes concentration and robs one of freedom. I can’t describe the pleasure to be derived from being able to just let it rip without any care in the world. Parakatumba!

  6. Letting it hang: – Long hard day at the office. Full day of being tied up in the restrictive arms corporate garb from early morning till late night. What greater pleasure can trump my getting home, removing every last stitch of clothing and letting the chairman hang freely? My inner nudist is alive and well.

These are a few of my disgusting pleasures that readily come to mind, I’ll update them as I remember more. Meanwhile, I dare you to drop that tush façade and share a few of yours. We know your inner razzite is hiding just beneath the surface, let it out!

None found.

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4 Comments

  1. Guffawing at letting it hang. That’s a pleasure we all feel, am fairly certain.
    I’ll get back to you on the others; let think about them first.

    Well done maestro…

  2. Beordoon

    we’re holding our breath..

  3. Dolapo Omowunmi

    I’m guilty (but never convicted) of no 5…I can’t help it at times.

  4. Beordoon

    LOL. Feel free to bring the thunder.

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