Anybody remember this video? It was a favorite while I was growing up at the time; with most of us in my age grade choosing sides; Brandy vs Monica… that sort of thing. But the most astounding thing for me (then and now) was how they came together in the end to put Mr. Player in his place.
There has to be a reason why that memory particularly stood out for me. Most likely, it is because I had on some level started expecting two women to always be in opposition to one another. (Pray, who was teaching me these things then? I been small that time na… Okay Ekenedilichukwu, back to regular programming). First of all, go down low welcome to my today. Here’s to the prayer that it be your best Thursday yet. Amen.
Okay, back to the matter. As far back as in 1998 when “The Boy is Mine” was a huge hit, I had witnessed women show dislike for their fellow members of the fairer sex. Fast forward to 2015, and I see it happen a lot more often. I could not understand it then; and I sure as hell can’t understand it now. You see a gathering of 3, 4, 5, 6 women and more often than not, there’s a “mean girl’ type among them; who is either spewing vitriol at one of them who’s present or others who are absent. Reason for her lashing out? The friend is not dressed up to standard (in her book). Or maybe, she showed too much interest in a guy seated across from them and thus, made them look uncool. Met that type?
Or how about the women who looks at you from head to toe with disgust in her eyes as you walk past each other in the mall; simply because you’re walking with a very handsome friend/boyfriend/husband/brother and laughing in conversation? Maybe you wore a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt to see the movies; that draw another lady’s ire; yes? These last two scenarios have happened to me a-plenty. Let’s not even discuss the ones who judge you for giving someone a hug in public. It will seem like you offended Ani, the goddess of earth or Adugbe, the river goddess in my town…
she looks like she’s about to hurl a missile, a la A…. witches style (in the words of a certain Sir Galahad)…
More recently, it has proven true on social media even. Girls bash one another simply because they share boobs and a vagina in their comments, tweets, etc. They tend to be kinder when it is a member of the other sex. Guys who meet some ladies in customer service departments are met with a smile and courteous service; the ladies are met with a frown and a ‘devil may care” attitude. I know this for a fact; it has happened to in a bank and at a telecommunications firm. Not to generalize, but hey…
The questions that remain beggared for answers remain; “Why?” “Do women truly hate each other?” It is worth looking into; because I truly do not understand why when men are having a go at their friends, you hear things like, “you kick/punch like a girl.” Then when it’s a woman’s turn, she goes (with feeling, mind you) “She’s a slut.” Woah, calm down girl. It is never that serious. In my experience (which psychological research corroborates by the way; yeah, am the next Fraulein Freud, grinning), this attitude is stemmed from an inferiority complex. That is the only reason why a woman will feel the need to pull another lady down in order to feel better with herself.
For all you guys jumping in glee in your closets, please note that the malaise has spread to your folk o. We’ll do that matter justice another day. For now, I’ve got to go and keep some clients happy (women more so). Let it not be said that I did what I claim to hate.
Have a fabulous day, lads and lassies!
Guest Poster – @EkyShirley
You can catch up with her other amazing posts on ekyshirley.blogspot.com
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