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For weeks afterwards I had to square my chin and endure her constant jibes. Everyone heard (by everyone I mean those in our circle), about how a simple “no” had stopped me from getting to the garden between her thighs.
Who could blame me for wanting to? I was young and flush with raging hormones and she had such a nubile body (at least to my teenage eyes). I liked her and I knew she liked me too, so when we found ourselves behind the closed doors of a deserted room, I assumed we were on the same page of an amorous adventure tale.
It was my first time. I really didn’t know what I was about, but I tickled and pinched with fervor and she seemed to enjoy it. I squeezed her soft parts and got more excited while she gasped and smiled in turns.
Everything was fine until I tried reaching into her pants.
The command was delivered in little more than a whisper.
Previously forgotten home training instantly kicked in. Shamefaced, I immediately disengaged and apologized for my behavior. I almost tripped on my own feet as I quickly left the room, embarrassed beyond measure and cursing myself for assuming we’d both wanted to get down.
Then gist spread. She went to town telling of how I was still a small boy, how her playful bluff had cut my liver and stopped me from moving further.
The girls laughed at my naivety. “Don’t you know that’s how good girls behave?” “No one agrees the first time” they said. “You should have persisted until she spread” they said. “That’s how it is done, ask your mates” they said.
The guys gave me hell for falling their hand. They were merciless about how I was the only one failure out of twenty five who had tried to mount. “They always say no until you rough ’em up a little, only then are the gates of pleasure opened.”
I almost cried. See abuse because I had chosen to be a gentleman and listen to her, a wrong option judging by their reaction. One even said I would die a virgin if I continued approaching girls that way in my foolishness.
The teasing hurt, but something kept telling me I’d done right.
Years later, l lost my virginity in less dramatic circumstances.
I’m much older now, but my views haven’t changed at all. I know many of us were made to believe that when she says no it’s just format. Peer pressure and street ‘wisdom’ tells us to keep pushing, that she will eventually open up and take it in if we persist. Some of us have accepted that as gospel.
I’m glad that ‘something’ stopped me back then. I’m glad I didn’t allow their ragging sway my resolve one bit. Today more than ever, how horny I may be don’t matter. Once she says no, to me that means it’s GAME OVER!
Unresolved konji is infinitely better than getting tagged as a rapist.